I nsert your content here would like to use my life as an example of redirection. I would have to share a particular loss in my life, as well as my family’s. My mother passed away on January 1, 2000. Now, Now, don’t get emotional on me; I have dealt with it enough to write about it. What do you do when someone you love is here one day, then gone the next? Her passing threw me off balance and it was very difficult to restore my equilibrium, but how was I going to get clarity? I will admit that I needed someone to talk to; but there was no one.
My family tried, and to be honest, it would not have helped. I knew my life was going to be different from this point onward. What was I going to do going forward? I am sure you all feel the same way when you lose someone you love.
My mother was, and in some ways still is, my world. My dreams and goals are still tied to her, but more so in a spiritual aspect now. In the year 2000, I had no way of getting out of the frustration, the loss and grieving—until the day I began to write.
This new found spiritual journey began to clear my mind, heart and SOUL. I could feel forces moving me in the right direction. I was beginning to see and feel life flowing through me again. I was able to do it with five practical steps, in which I will lay out for you shortly.
Tony Robbins made a statement that really made this clear to me. He said, “If you can’t do something, then you must!” I could not understand it when I was dealing with my mother’s death, but now I do. Death is something no human can undo. No amount of praying, crying, feeling sorry for yourself can change it; but telling yourself you must understand it leads you to a better place and here is what I have learned to this point.
- Meditation – Here is where I needed time alone to reflect on my life, from childhood to manhood. I needed to make sense of losing her and what I was going to do now. I had to sit and think; then cry, think again, then cry some more. Even in quiet reflective times, you can feel life is unfair. The reality is life is moving forward with or without you. In meditation, you can feel that; but you can also understand what love of life is and what you can do to heal a broken spiritual heart. So find some alone time to revisit your life.
- Exercise – When you lose someone, it will make you stop working out, alter your eating habits and bring your mind to a standstill. Working out while you are going through a loss will take some of the focus off the loss. Working out does not remove it, it just takes your mind and body to another place, for a brief reprieve. I exercised my body and mind, to look for peace between this world and the spiritual. You should do the same.
- Reading – I know this sounds awkward, but it really helped me. I read material of a spiritual nature, so I could come to grips with my mother no longer being here. I resolved that maybe she could listen to my prayers and see what my dreams were for her on the other side. I am not an advocate of any religion or organization. I am saying reading can sometimes bring you to a better place.
- Expose – Here I began to expose myself to writing. I took my journey through poetry. When my mother passed away, I didn’t have an outlet to release what I was feeling. This energy had a life of its own and it had to be released. It was the only way I could free myself. After all the meditating, exercising and reading, there was still something holding me at bay; until the day I took out a pen and pad, and wrote my way to clarity and a new beginning. We say to people, “It will get better with time.” or “They are in a better place.” I understood what they were saying, but they had no idea what I was feeling. When I started writing, I felt better and life was coming back to me. You need to write whatever you are feeling; believe me, it helps because it takes what’s on the inside and releases it to the physical world.
- Grieve – Losing someone you love is going to be hard to deal with and no one will be able to take the pain away for you. You have to give yourself time to grieve. You need to know it’s okay to cry; it’s okay to question GOD, man or anything you can think of. As my friend Connie says, “There is no time limit on grieving, just grieve!” Your loved ones are your grounding force, they are the reason for you being alive—when they are taken away, you feel as if GOD disrespected you. I know I did, but GOD allowed me to grieve as long as it took. I was also writing to help with my healing process. Grieving is a MUST not a “should,” but you cannot stay there. You must go on living and making a difference in this life, while you still have life. I know this is what my mom would want for her family.
These are the five steps I took to get to clarity and how I was able to redirect my life after losing the love of my life. I hope they will assist you in your life journey. If you want to learn more about my journey and my way to clarity, please visit my websites: www.timelightenment.biz and soulsplitting.biz. You must remember, you only have this one life, and you MUST pursue your dreams and achieve your goals before your eyes close. This is a great part of wholeness.